THE ROOT 9: 23.3

Let me clarify, I'm not talking about the kind of fear that comes with an actual health risk that can benefit from a simple appointment and dedicated attention. I mean the fear that bubbles up when something we've been anticipating is near. It’s that feeling that can lead to a cycle of shame, guilt, and frustration, all because we’re afraid to be afraid.

Truthfully, I felt that today. When something I was anticipating didn’t go as planned, a jolt of anxiety hit me. I was fearful about having to do it over again and scared that it still wouldn’t be "good enough." But does that worry really serve me?

There’s something beautiful about the human experience of anxiety that comes when you care about something. It’s good to care. A dose of fear is expected, but what's even more impactful is how we internalize it.

So, the next time that familiar jolt hits, maybe we can try to reframe it—not as a weakness, but as a sign that we’re on the right path, doing something that matters to us.

Finding a Way to Ground

This week, I spent a lot of time alone, focused on a specific task and preparing for it, so I really needed a change of scenery. I'd always wanted to visit the Mill Valley Public Library, and wheN Meg suggested it after I mentioned needing to get out (especially after being home with COVID for a while), it felt like a sign it was time to finally go.

I got a library card, prepped all my snacks so I could hunker down for a solid five or six hours, and locked in. Even with the thought of "time is ticking" on my mind for most of the week, my highlight was a small but really pleasant moment. The man I see every morning at our local market told me to try the nectarines when I was asking him which fruit to get, telling me they're just perfect. I spent an extra few minutes carefully choosing the two lucky ones I'd take home.

As a mental break, I went to the outdoor patio, enjoyed my nectarine with the sun on my face, and listened to the birds. They say to touch grass, but what about watching trees?

… I Guess I’m In? (Get it?)

I have a very veeery vivid memory of my mom and me looking for a unique homecoming dress in high school. My mom was really pushing for polka dots, and for some reason, I was strongly against it. Fast forward almost 10 years later (oof), and I've worn a polka dot dress to my bachelorette party and just bought another one.

When I showed them to her recently, she was pretty shocked and joked that she hadn't sent me anything with polka dots since because of how averse my reaction was back then. I still can't tell you why I reacted that way, but Today's Yoana strongly disagrees with the Yoana of ~2016.

I feel like polka dots have subtly risen as a trend this summer, and I don't think they should be applicable only to women's fashion. For example, these male shorts by Bode are super unique, in my opinion. And I’d love to sit in a vineyard with a glass of wine wearing this.

I'd be lying if I said my friends don’t inspire my purchases. I'll give credit where it's due: @Cryan, this one's for you for calling this trend out way back in May.